what am i in for?

I get so tired of the same old feeling. the lump in my throat that chokes every thought, every word that exits my mouth. the feeling of unimportance...but at the same time knowing im needed...i get so tired of always being "fine" every time im asked..i get tired of nobody caring to see that everythings not always fine. but in the midst of all of this..i somehow manage to always find comfort in the unseen. by the end of every day i end up limp in my saviors arms...helpless..but somehow strong...weak but somehow brave. i get tired of the same old feelings but i love the comfort of being held in the arms of someone so powerful..so strong..so loving..so....everything....even in the hardest times when i have no idea why im even here..or why im going through what i am..i cant help but continue to fall in love with God in new ways...i was thinking the other day and this came to me without going through test without what kind of testimonies would we have? its something to really think on..anyway..im going to go...