Monday, October 30

Love

1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind...." vs. 5...."it is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs...." vs. 7 "it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres" vs. 8..."love never fails..." vs. 13..."and now these three are left...faith, hope, and love...and the greatest of these is love" thats all im going to say. just let this soak in. enjoy it. really think about what it is saying.

Friday, October 20

I took a walk to notice things that have long awaited my attention. I saw beauty in existance that escaped my mind. Caught up in the day to day....midnight was a time i had long forgotten. The dew stamped roses in the neighbors yard, the sly black alley cat the follows fools who walk at such a time. My senses go crazy...i have missed this. Childhood innocence escaped my adult-like mind, i have missed out on so much. its at midnight that the moon shines at its brightest, and on some lonely nights...it hides deep behind the clouds...leaving that feeling of "whats next" in the air. I take in a deep breath of fresh, midnight summer breeze. Good for the lungs. I swallow it, and close my eyes. I have made it around the block, and when i return, not a single light in my house is left on. I listen closely and can hear...nothing. I soak in the silence the night time has to offer. I feel as though these midnight walls are closing in on me, and my pillow is screaming my name. I whisper quietly, to the darkness..."Goodnight. We should meet again sometime." I carefully open the door, creep through the house, and climb underneathe my cool crisp sheets. I fall quickly to sleep...thankful for that midnight hour. so that was kinda randome cause i didnt take a walk at midnight....not recently nor when i was a child.....i just felt like a little creative writing would fit the mood tonight. hope you enoyed it.

Wednesday, October 4

Victory or Defeat???

there has been so much going on in my personal life lately. it can be hard to not let things get me down....but heres what God has been showing me....we choose our own victory or defeat. my family tends to choose to walk in defeat. they let things come against them.....and God is showing me that just because they are walking in defeat...doesnt mean that i have to!! im walking in victory.....sometimes it feels like most of my world is crashing down on me....and yea..i could walk around depressed and pitty-ing (i made that word up) myself...but im not going to...why..you ask? because.....people around me see whats going on.....and i want to glorify God even through trials....i want to glorify God in the good times and in the bad.....my boyfriends dad preached sunday night and he said something *i've heard him say this before...not jus at the pulpit*...he said God is the same God at the top and the bottom of the mountain....and God keeps giving me this line..maybe i'll put it in a poem someday....circumstances change..God doesnt. regardless of what comes against me.....my God wont change...and nothing will separate me from him. the word says that nothing can separate us from the love of God. it also says that no weapon formed against us shall prosper.....and it also says that we are more than conquerers..through him who loved us. so yea..i know im rambling..im very tired..but thats the shape of my heart tonight......i walk in sweet sweet victory...

Monday, October 2

Let us go also, so that.....

My heart is so.....burdened as i write this tonight. I wish people (at school in general) could see what im feeling. it is so hard to go into a place daily....looking into the eyes of the same people everyday....listening to the same stories every day......walk away from the same people every day....knowing that the life they are living is leading them to hell. my boyfriend and i have been talking alot about how churches pacify sin. yes...thats what i said....churches pacify it. is that okay?? NO!! the bible says that sin separates us from God. and theres a problem when you have alcoholics sitting in church..and gays....and people who are living in sin (please dont mis-interpert what i am trying to say....no...people shouldnt be turned away at the door because of their lifestyle....but when there are people who have been in church for years...or even months...and they know the way their living is wrong and their not changing it....something isnt right) what i am burdened with is the fact that i know somebody who changes lives. i know somebody who delivers people. i used to be one of the people walking down the hallway of my school. but somebody found me...somebody who cared enough about me to step on my toes...tell me that what i was doing was wrong.....somebody who prayed for me countless hours and nights....somebody who introduced me to Jesus in a way i had never known him *thank you ryan*.....i need to be to other people what ryan was to me. i believe that these are the end of times...i really do. i need to stop worrying about myself. who cares what people think? i keep saying that i want to be remembered when i leave high school. for some reason the worst thing for me would be to be forgotten after we graduate.....but god keeps asking me..."mandy....what do you want them to remember??"...and this is what i want people to remember when they think of me....i want them to remember not that i was a "good girl" but that i stood for something..that i believed in something....that there was a reason i didnt party on weekends or do whatever else....when people look back at my picture in the year book 10 years from now...i want them to remember that i am a christian....plain and simple. i was reading in John tonight and i found a verse that is really awesome!! and it kinda ties in with all this..maybe not but im going to put it here anyways....John 11:16.."Thomas said, "Let us go also, so that we may die with Jesus"...to briefly tell what was going on before thomas (a disciple) said this....a few days before this Jesus had healed the blind man..and the religious rulers didnt like it...so they kicked the man out of the synogouge and wanted to stone Jesus...Jesus left the town...and a few days later Lazurus died..so Jesus had to go back to the town where they were waiting to stone him.....the deciples were all like..."Jesus..you want to go back there? they want to kill you...."....and thomas spoke up and said...."let us go also, so that we may die with Jesus"...he had no idea what would happen...but he was willing to go to the extent of dying to follow Jesus....thats my heart right now.....im going to keep pressing forward...and if it meant dying for my Jesus.....i think that would be okay with me.....