Earlier this summer i went on a missions trip to ny i. last night all of us on the trip went to church for the evening service to talk about the trip some. the service was just for us and two other groups to share what has happend this summer. one of the groups happend to be the Beikert (sp?) family...they went to germany and france for a month at the begining of the summer. the family consists of three kids and their parents. they used their vacation as more of a missions trip. they sang at churches, i think their dad may have preached a few times...anyway they all got up and shared. and then they had a video that they showed us...watching them on their trip brought tears to my eyes. hearing all of their talents blend together, and then to realize that they are a family. to see them all love God together, and to see them love each other. i dont know. i have a family life very different from that. and it sometimes kills parts of me to watch other families...knowing that i will never have that. im glad that some kids get to expierance having a whole family...but gelousy seems to kick in uncontrolably..and i would do anything to take their place. i would give the world to go back and time and have my parents still together..to know what its like to go through these "teen years"...having my mom and dad beside each other to help me through..i dont understand why God works this way...why some people grow up in "perfect" homes..and then there are some that have to work hard for their faith.. if you are reading this and your family is still together...then im asking you to realize how lucky you are...and begging you not to take it for advantage...sorry if i offended anyone...my heart is just at wits end...i get tired of living this way sometimes... wow..i feel better since i got a chance to vent ....