I don't want to forget. I can't let what I learned slip my mind. I want my face to still be moist from the tears that I cried for people that I poured my heart out to. I want to close my eyes and still see those faces. I want to relax and allow my mind to go back to conversations that I carried. I never want to forget. I want to wake up and walk out to the ocean. I want to feel the way about americans that I did about Jamaicans. I want to get myself back into the "mode" where I pray for someone at the sight of them. To look into their eyes, and care enough to wonder what path they are walking. I want my mind-set in America to be what it was in Jamaica. I don't need to go across the country to help people. There are people sitting beside me right now that need help. I've been home for almost 3 months now, but I'm still a missionary. I still want to further God's kingdom. I don't want to be dry anymore.

I dont know why i feel this way. i cant pinpoint it. i dont even know how i feel. i've went through this before. crying for no reason. taking the smallest things the wrong way and making something huge out of them. feeling stressed for no reason. wanting to just be alone. but this time...i dont want to be alone. the only time i dont feel this way is when im with ryan and his family. i feel 'right' being there. being where i am i feel out of place..i know my family talks about me behind my back....agh..idk....im jus whining. im gonna go. i need to pray. ryan brought up a good point. i cant carry things on my own.....img gonna go hang out with Jesus....

Holy Presence

Holy Presence Chorus: Surround me holy presence As I stand here unashamed Rain on me Holy Spirit As I glorify your name Verse 1) Make every breath That leaves my lips Be unto you An incense of praise Chorus Surround me holy presence As I stand her unashamed Rain on me Holy Spirit As I glorify your name Verse 2) I’ll raise my hands To worship you I’ll fall down on my face I’ll do whatever it takes To bring to you my praise Chorus Surround me holy presence As I stand here unashamed Rain down on me holy presence As I glorify your name so yea...i dont really write 'songs'...but i wrote one for ryan...and this is it...i dont like it too much..but w/e..he said he likes it and yea....thats all i've got..